The 11 Rules of Chocolate
We don't know the origin of these hilarious rules of
chocolate but we agree with every single one!
- If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
- Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices, and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
- The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
- Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
- Chocolate also contains milk which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.
- If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
- If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?
- Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean is a vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar beets. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category too. Therefore chocolate is a vegetable.
- Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way at least you'll get one thing done.
- A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
- If you can't eat all of your chocolate it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
Have something to add? Email the firstname.lastname@example.org.